I get asked all the time, “what it is that makes successful people successful?” or, “why is that when someone has a particular success that they tend to have another and another?”
The truth is that success really does happen when your dreams and your desires get bigger than your excuses.
I wanted to be in personal coaching for quite some time and wanted to create something like Mindset Engine to give away to help other people achieve a healthy, focused mindset.
For me, I had to get to the place where my desire for success became greater than my excuses. Then, and only then, did I take strong forward action and put myself out there.
Was I scared? You bet! But I quickly realized that all of us fight the challenge of fear and self-doubt.
Once you learn to make your mind work for you instead of against you, you have the ability to do virtually anything.
Grab your journal or your phone, tablet, or the journal function in this app—whatever it is that you use to take notes on and ask yourself, what is holding you back? What is keeping you from where you want to be?
Before you allow yourself to accept those things, look at each statement that you’ve written down and asked yourself why.
Why is that holding you back?
What is that you could do differently and break through to your goal?
Excuses are like a warm, comfortable blanket on a cold day. But ultimately, excuses deny us the ability to experience life and the success we want.
You have to pay attention and be brutally honest with yourself. It is super easy to get caught in a life of excuses where you miss the success and the dreams that you want. Mindset will give you a giant step forward.
https://kevinbreeding.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/ME0108a-MS-2-2.jpg10241024Kevin Breedinghttps://kevinbreeding.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/KB-Logo-2017-Dark-300x85.pngKevin Breeding2019-11-21 05:26:332019-11-18 05:36:35Make Things Work for You, Not Against You
https://kevinbreeding.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/ME051.jpg10241024Kevin Breedinghttps://kevinbreeding.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/KB-Logo-2017-Dark-300x85.pngKevin Breeding2019-07-10 06:10:252019-07-02 16:12:59Build What You Want
About 6 months ago I started down a path looking at resistance and procrastination and how it affects entrepreneurs.
I see this every single day in my 1:1, Group, and 5-Day Framework classes. It really does not matter the entrepreneur, their years in business, or the size of their company.
We all do it.
What I did not expect was to uncover all the ways that my resistance shrouds itself in my life. Things that I once thought just road bumps or points of hesitation or frustration are actually resistance and procrastination in disguise.
And let me tell you—those guys are wicked good. Sneaky rascals.
Probably the most interesting discovery is that resistance often shows up in my life as sleepiness.
When I am up against a task that I do not want to do, or that I am unsure about what I should do, if I ponder it for any length of time, I get sleepy.
I have also identified others. ( I will spare you the story.)
But super interesting that now I can spot these behaviors, identify them, and almost always break free and knock out the challenge or task.
So what about you? When you “put something off” because you don’t want to do it or you are uncertain about it and just won’t admit it.
How does resistance disguise itself and show up in your life?
I would love to hear.
The list goes on and on. Truth is, if we want to delay action, we can manufacture hundreds of reasons and excuses to fill up our valuable “get it done” time.
But what causes us to create and allow our own distractions?
My experience (from coaching of course, I would NEVER let this happen in my own life, right? 🙂 )
Distraction happen when we are:
– Not fully committed
– Confused on what to do
– Wishy washy about what we really want
– Hiding something
– Lying to ourselves about real desires
– Scared of failure
– Scared of success
– Living in ‘fake it til you make it’ mode
This list can also go on and on and on.
So my question to you is this – WHY are you falling prey to distractions? What is distracting you doesn’t really matter. Until you figure out WHY, your forward progress will be limited.
I know you have huge dreams and goals. So, why are you allowing them to be squandered right in front of you?
Trust me – I am preaching to the choir over here too. This issue has kicked my behind many times in the past—until I call it out, expose it, and then slay it.
(SCREEECH Sound Effect) Wait! What? Procrastination is incredibly beneficial. There I said it—but probably not in the way you think.
I have discovered over the past several years as an entrepreneur that when procrastination begins to creep into my high productivity times, that is a great indicator that I am getting very close to something big. You see, now when procrastination sneaks in on me, it causes me to stop and take a good deep look at what I am doing and why.
For me, procrastination is an indicator that I:
Am afraid of putting something out in the public – usually an indicator that it is something I really care about and want to be cautious
Am unsure about my direction – causes me to dig in deep and go after clarity first and fiercely
Am concerned about being controversial – sharing bland, filtered, white-washed content is lousy. Have an opinion and put it out there. if some people don’t hate on you for it, it clearly isn’t strong enough,
Am not sure people will like it or buy it – this is a key indicator of a half-baked idea.
Am not leading, but rather reacting – more times than not, the outcome is inauthentic
For me, procrastination is a fantastic red flag that makes me stop and dig deep to answer the unanswered questions. It actually is a very beneficial trait that most entrepreneurs continuously try to hide.
Leads to Clarity and Focus
The more I learn about how my mind and soul work, the more helpful it is to pay attention to physical and mental reactions that my body and soul give off.
As long as it does not own you and stop you dead in your tracks, procrastination is a great tool to help you get honest with yourself about what is and is not going on. So, pay attention to what is going on within you and learn how to identify it. Then, develop a process to re-frame your goals and actions.
So what are you procrastinating about right now in your life and business? Now ask yourself why? What are you afraid of? or concerned with? or unsure about?
Next time you catch yourself hemming and hawing around (that’s a Texas term), ask yourself, “what am I unsure about?” The answer might surprise you and give you clarity. The answer can even save you money!
“Everything You Think About Your Future is Correct—
Regardless If It Is Actually True or Not.”
I made that statement about mindset the other day while on a coaching call. As soon as I said it, the person on the other end of the line said, “Wait. Can you say that again? That’s a ‘writer-downer’.”
I chuckled a little bit and then wrote it down myself. Since then, I have been chewing on and wrestling with that statement, both for my coaching client and also for me.
You see, mindset is at the core of everything I do and coach. Some people talk about it, others don’t believe that mindset actually makes that big of a difference. I cannot disagree more because I am living proof of the impact mindset makes. Here is why…
I am naturally a skeptic. I wish I were not, but I am. I have to make time every single day a part of my morning routine to stop, think about where I am and what I want to do, and then focus my mindset for the day. You could say that this morning ritual for me is my “mindset engine.” And candidly, it has made all the difference between being a dreamer and being a doer.
Mindset = Dreams into Reality
For some time prior to taking on coaching clients, I thought about mindset a lot. And looking back on it now, I can clearly see that my mindset was in wish/dream mode instead of strategy/action mode. Now, I can see that while I was thinking about it, I was merely making excuses and giving my thoughts plenty of room to talk me out of starting.
What it all boiled down to was this: I was afraid to put myself out there because of fear. Afraid that no one would be interested, or that no one would pay me for my time, or that I could actually help someone.
However, within the first couple coaching sessions back in those early days, my fears were set aside.
But sadly, what I had allowed myself to think had become real—even though it was not true. Thus, my comment above.
So what about you? Where is your mindset? Is it working for you to drive positive action OR is it confounding you can keeping you on the sideline?
I know for a fact, you can do anything you want to. I am living proof. What is holding you back? Drop me a comment here or back on the Facebook post to let me know. I would love to talk about it.
RESOURCE NOTE: One of the best resources I have read about this is a fantastic book by Carol S. Dweck, Ph.D., called Mindset. I highly recommend the read.
I have been on a journey for the last few years. The tale is pretty wide, deep, and at times fairly gruesome. But truthfully, I would not change much.
The key for me—in highs and lows—is knowing that the dream is constant. The path may change as I iterate, but the dream is clear and remains.
So, my question to you is this:
Are you clear on your dream? And if so, is there a path that you are currently working on that can get you there?
My journey is littered with starts and stops, variants, and down right dumb ideas as I iterate my way to my dream. At times, I get frustrated at the time, emotion, and energy it takes and has taken. However, the dream is forever clear and in tact.
Perhaps your dream is to write your book, or become a platform speaker, or to scale your business to the next major level. For me, it was to give back and to invest into people I cared about.
I did not know it at the time, but my dream was to become a mentor/advocate/coach for entrepreneurs. I knew what my dream was about, just not what it was called.
Now I know.
About a year ago, after receiving several calls from folks inquiring if I would coach them, I decided there might be something to this. So, I agree to take on four people, who each were at very different stages of life and business.
My goal was to answer these four questions:
– Can I help them?
– Am I good at it?
– Do I enjoy it?
– Will they pay me for it?
It only took 2-3 phone sessions to get back a resounding YES! As I finish a mentor call, my energy level is high, my sense of satisfaction is off the chart, and the responses from my clients was over the top positive.
I started out on this journey thinking I was building a software tool. Somewhere along the way, my dream became very real, very quickly. Had I not been willing to iterate, I would have ended up building a business that was just another job.
My encouragement and challenge to you is this:
– Are you building your dream?
– Does it excite you at your core?
– Would you do it, even if you did not get paid for it?
– Does it feed you financially, personally, emotionally, and spiritually?
If not, we should talk. If so, then are you driving at the level you want to?
As an entrepreneurial mentor, I lock arms with you to build the life and the business you want, in a way that is most authentic to who you are. It is so much more than P&Ls, sales funnels, and launches. Building an authentic company requires an entrepreneur who is clear, present, and ready to align themselves in every way.
I help build seven and eight figure companies for entrepreneurs—not by building the organization, but rather by building the entrepreneur.
I am amazed at how much effort and energy gets used these days by people who are hell-bent on re-writing their past.
Don’t get me wrong…I understand the attraction for sure. But in my coaching work, as well as in my own life, trying to re-write life always comes back around with issues. I had a business that went up in flames (to the tune of several commas and zeros) that became the final straw toward a divorce that I had known was coming for several years.
I know it is tempting to just try to go somewhere and just create a new you.
But I can tell you first hand, trying to re-write does not work—no matter how hard you try or how much money you through at it.
My experience and that of many coaching clients have proven, there is no such thing as a re-write. Your best hope and your best path to healing and wholeness is to make peace with your past.
In fact, I suggest that you embrace it and make it a core key of your story. Why?
Simple. It is a significant part of your story.
I know numerous multi-millionaires. I do not know one that has not been bankrupt at least once, or moments away from one and came back to financial life.
I know tons of individuals who have tanked their lives—as I did—and have come out on the other side happier, healthier, and infinitely more comfortable in their own skin. That is certainly true in my life.
The common denominator?
All of them gave up trying to re-write their past and instead have chosen to make peace with their past.
Every. Single. One.
So what does that mean and how can you and I do that? Here goes:
First, we have to get brutally honest with ourselves. Not just what we think happened or chose to remember what happened as “our version” of the truth—the actual facts. Truthfully, this is the hardest part. Tough to do, but critical.
Then, we have to open our heart and mind to ask, “What was that for and what am I supposed to learn from having come through ___(your past detail)___?”
Make no further accusations toward anyone or anything. Let it go.
Next, realize that every experience we have—good, bad, indifferent—happens for a reason.
And finally, once you discover what it is you were supposed to learn, take inside your heart and life and invest that truth and wisdom into someone else with whom you expect NOTHING in return.
If you will do these things—peace, genuine peace and self-forgiveness—will come your way in significant volumes. I can promise you this.
I have been there—and will never go back. Don’t re-write….Make Peace.
I wrote this blog post this week for a client whom I love working alongside. I loved it so much, it made me think I should share it with you as well.
Be In the Arena
“It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.
The credit belongs to the man in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly…who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who have never known neither victory nor defeat.”
– President Theodore Roosevelt
I simply love that quote. I know that it embodies the drive, grit, and commitment to excellence that I strive for day in and day out.
Anything less for me, is just busy work.
But getting into the arena is hard. It is scary, and it is not for the mildly committed. Regardless of your business, ‘getting in the arena’ is the act of getting fully committed to being the best in the world in your field, and being honest enough with yourself to know it and act upon it.
Sadly, today many people allow themselves to be wrapped up in limitations, physical or mental, in such a way that they end up on the sideline of life, blaming others for what they are not allowed to do.
I do not want that. Nor do I want that for you.
I believe it is better to try and fail than to not try at all. Because when you try and fail, the lesson in the failure is a giant step up toward your success.
I have experienced incredible success, as well as brutal failure. I can assure you that the most powerful and most useful lessons have come from the difficult road along the way. But the good news is that your success in the arena, once you fully commit, is almost always right there in plain sight.
The real core of the battle is in placing yourself in the arena in the first place. Everyone else is just going through the motions of success rather than building it for real.