Fill in the Blanks

“Just make more…they will come around. All your problems will be solved with __________.”

Although I hate to admit it, I fell for the big lie.

I went in hook, line, and sinker and was willing to set everything aside in order to achieve what I had been promised was worth it. I sacrificed relationships, my health, and for a season, my family, and even my music.

I am not proud of it. At times I even get angry about it all over again, but what good will that do?

All I know is that I never want to be back there again.

Back then, I kept hearing the voice saying, “Just make more…they will come around. All your problems will be solved with __________.”

In my gut—the depth of my soul—I knew it was too good to be true, but there I was, cranking away for the next title, the next comma, and set of zeros.

Don’t get me wrong. I love nice things…really nice things.

But today, I understand the real price and have learned (am learning) how to make wiser decisions as a result.

Today, I understand that my career choice is important, but so is my health, my relationships, my spirituality, personal development, personal interests, and ultimately my life purpose.

Not in balance, but in harmony.

Right now, for example, my health is at the apex of those important facets of my life. I am willfully choosing to make that the most important in this season.

Finally understanding this concept was a game and life-changing revelation. That discovery took me off my self-imposed, perfectionist, “driven at the cost of everything else” treadmill.

And that shift has made all the difference.

When the crisis’ hit late last year, it was not the end of the world. Nor was it so devastating that we needed to scramble or panic. Both Susie and I simply looked at each other, hugged and held hands for a minute, and then said, “Okay, what do we need to do to get this passed and over with and back to full health?”

There was never anything other than a simple, singular focus.

So, I sat awake this morning at 4:15a, looking out the window at an enormous moon, I offered thanks and praise for the life, partner, and path I have been gifted with.

Life is not perfect—but it sure is so much fuller than ever before. In that, it is all about choices.

What is important, what is necessary, what is right, what is enough, and most importantly, what is just noise?

I pray you think about that.

KB

– – – – – – –

If life is a mess, upside down, or outright chaos, or even just sort of empty and unfulfilling, I pray you find that first foothold of peace to stand on. I would welcome a moment to visit if you think that might be helpful. I have learned a lot over the years. Not sharing that experience seems too wasteful.

Talk soon.

Our Bodies Are Genuine Miracles

How anyone does not see The Divine in that is beyond me. Still, I welcome all to consider this –

I have had two major surgeries in the last 6 months. The first by choice and the second by need. The first was December 29, 2020. The second surgery was May 28, 2021.

Because of the nature of the first, I had lost 38 pounds going into the second surgery thanks to a highly restrictive soft-food diet.

With the second, I experienced something called Post-Surgical Edema or as this boy from Arkansas calls it—swelling and water retention.

All in all, it was about 14 lbs. of fluid.

Apparently, the body responds to the trauma of being invaded by holding water rather than passing it. Plus, if I understand correctly the procedure throws your system off and it takes a while for the fluid to be absorbed or released.

But the amazing thing to me is that when the body reaches the point of healing that it no longer fears a future need for additional fluid, it will simply redistribute it or evacuate it.

When functioning normally, it just knows it is time to release it, so it does.

Wouldn’t it be great if we did that emotionally or psychologically instead of internalizing past hurts and issues? I am afraid those are a bit peskier to release, right?

I remember back with the weight started to come off, a good, trusted advisor of mine encouraged me to think about and refer to the weight decrease as “releasing it” versus “losing it.”

Losing it implies that if it is “lost” I will need to go back and find it at some point in the future. As a result, I have released 38 pounds, collected 14 pounds of fluid, but am on my way to releasing that back.

I often wonder why we are so hard on ourselves.

Why do we beat ourselves up so much and then remember all the challenges so much more than we do the wins?

Wouldn’t it serve us better if we just released all those things that do not serve us well when we FIRST REALIZE we no longer need them?

I am working to be better. Why not come join me on the journey.

Think about that.

KB

Making the Shift

Transitions are always filled with ups, downs, questions, expectations, thrills, and unknowns.

And, I have found that in going through them, the real gold is not in the outcome but rather the journey.

What you learn about yourself during the transition is the real blessing.

Whether you are transitioning jobs/projects or learning to live without a person in your life, or coming out of a life-changing illness, or finding a new career, the growth that occurs on the way is what we need most.

As I was challenged this morning in my quiet time and meditations, if you too are going through a transition season, look for the benefit of the growth. It is not about the uncertainty that you fill your time worrying over. It is about HOW you walk through the changes.

I am excited and expectant about “my next.” I am certain that I will continue coaching small to medium business owners as I currently do. But I know there is something new coming that I have yet to see—and for that I am excited.

Could it be another year-long consulting gig that multiplies a company and changes the lives of the entire team? Maybe.

Could it be a spiritual mentorship for a business owner and family person who wants to “do it the right way?” Maybe (I hope so).

But my encouragement for you today is this:

Whether you see it or not, you are amid a transition in one, if not many, areas of your life. And HOW you step through this process makes all the difference.

I am learning to embrace mine.

I pray you are as well. If you share or pm me about your transition, I will add you to my morning prayer time.

KB

The Battle Within

Yesterday, I came across a video clip of Kevin Costner speaking at Whitney Houston’s funeral. I am not sure how it popped up, but I paused for a moment to listen.

Their friendship was unique, for sure. However, he shared a few intimate moments of the legendary singer’s internal battle with feeling “good enough.”

Can you imagine? Being, arguably, the greatest voice of all time and still at war with yourself believing you are not good enough.

It really makes me stop and take inventory of the personal battles I face and the battles of many in my sphere face. They are completely unnecessary and rob us of levels of greatness we can only dream about.

Why do we do that?

Why would we believe something about ourselves when everything around us is yelling the complete opposite?

I believe it is programming.

As children, we do not know we are supposed to be afraid, so we are not.

As youngsters, play and creativity are at the fore until the current educational models tell us how we are supposed to be and how we are supposed to act. As thankful as I am for teachers, I do not like the educational system. (But I’ll take up this convo another day.)

So, how do we re-birth that joy and creativity?

How do we unlock the view of us that others may see?

How do we suspend disbelief and ignite belief?

For me, it begins with a simple journey to the place of foundational truths that I know.

Certainties. There are not many, but they are powerful. It is in those places that I can remind myself, “If THIS is completely true, then it is possible that this other thing is true—if I will only give it a chance. If I only try…”

The second element is my internal speak. What do I say about myself and how do I speak over myself?

If I can align those two things, anything is possible.

If one is aligned and the other not, then I feel like I am walking in mud.

If both are out of whack, I am at war with myself and will never do anything. Worse, I will beat myself up and make a tough day worse.

So where to start?

1 – Foundational beliefs, and

2 – Internal messages. From there, I can reach for levels I never knew or believed I could find.

As a coach, these two elements are the first things I am wanting to discover in a client. Once I know where they are in these two areas, I can see what levels are possible.

What are your foundations? Do you know them clearly?

Thoughts to Ponder

Business.

Life.

Spirituality.

Purpose.

I wrote those words in that order almost 2 years ago for the homepage of my website. At the time, I was looking for a way to distinguish myself in the crowded business coach and consultant world.

Looking back now after this most recent journey, I choose to live those out in the opposite order.

What I have known for years is that success comes out of purpose. Sure, hard work, hustle, and being dedicated to your plan are essential, however, without a clear purpose, the money is still somehow empty.

A friend asked me the other day on a “checking in” call, if I only work with people who are believers—who are people of faith. “No,” I said. I work alongside people from all walks of life. I simply want people to know the framework that I come from for everything.

Do not get me wrong, I am not the guy with an ichthus on my business card and wants to pray with you before we sign the contract. Truth be told, those are the people who have burned me the worst over the years. I have learned and responded accordingly.

Faith and spirituality are essential to who I am, therefore, they are a big part of how I do things.

Then there is life. I am not one of those entrepreneurs who works 15 hours a day, on Saturdays, while at my kid’s soccer game…far from it. I believe our work is to serve our life, not dictate it.

I am quite sure I have left thousands—if not hundreds of thousands of dollars—on the table by living this way, but so be it. What good does it do you if you can buy anything and do anything, but no one is close enough to you to share it with you?

I love building businesses.

I love making sense of things for business owners who just cannot seem to get it all together and make it work and enjoyable.

I love locking arms with those who have train-wrecked their life and want to find the courage to build again.

Am I the universal coach and mentor for everyone? Nope.

But for those who know there is “more” to be had in building a business…

…for those who know there is a higher purpose to what they are doing

…for those who want to live life on purpose and stop being reactive to things…

We should talk. This latest chapter of my life has given such clarity and the ability to cut through the noise.

Here’s to building your life on purpose. You will not regret the move.

Think about that.

My Next

Two weeks ago, this very minute, I was being wheeled back to begin the pre-op process that would remove cancer from my body. I am incredibly thankful for the team that cared so well for me.

I did not think I would feel this good, this fast.

The thing I did not expect was how much this entire episode would change me.

I’ve spent the past 15 months alongside a very good friend, helping to build and scale their business. Not only did we design and win the single largest project in their 20-year history, but we also booked more in April 2021 than all of last year’s business. I love doing that. It never gets old.

That being said, I knew in the weeks leading up to my diagnosis that something within me was changing. Although I did not know that I would come out with a cancer diagnosis, I knew that my time in that project had come to a close.

On one hand, I am bummed in that I do not get to share in the spoils of a big win like that. On the other hand, it was and is not for me. My calling and purpose were not being fully utilized in that win. It was time for a leap of faith.

One major win was being able to encourage my friend during our last call of his Unique Ability and charge him to not let this big project distract him from making that gift first and most forward.

The timing also worked out well for me to take a fairly light week, focus on healing up, and spending time contemplating what is next.

MY NEXT.

For the past five or six months, I have had an image, a vision, or an awareness of this figure in my peripheral vision. They are at about 2 o’clock in my vision. I am not sure if it is someone I am supposed to meet, or if it is a more fully aware version of myself that I have yet to meet.

I know. That may all sound weird to you, but it has been very real to me for some time.

What I do know is that this image has been pressed upon my heart as “my next.”

What is more curious to me is that on 5 DIFFERENT OCCASIONS, in the days leading up to my surgery, five people referenced my healing and how excited they are to witness “my next.”

They all referred to it that way. And I never used that phrase with them or anyone else.

My Next.

I am not sure what My Next is, but I cannot wait to find out.

So, for now, I am leaning into God, trusting that He will guide me as I anxiously await My Next.

What Are You Called To Do?

What are you called to do?

What is your purpose?

What difference are you committed to making?

I do not believe we exist for the simple purpose of living our lives and making money so we can have things.

As a human being and as a spirit being, I fully believe we have a purpose—a reason to be here.

From a spiritual and faith tradition standpoint, I know that we exist to offer praise to an Almighty God. We are to reflect His goodness in every action and every deed.

But from a personal level, one-to-another, what are you about? Why are you here?

This past year has had its share of bumps, curveballs, and challenges. All of which have given me reason to stop and ponder, “Am I doing what I am called to do?”

Professionally, personally, spiritually – am I just existing and going through the motions or am I living on purpose and with intentionality to make sure this earth is better because I contributed?

The truth is no. For a season, I had allowed myself to be lulled into a state of simply going along. I was not focused and had fallen into the trap of thinking, “as soon as…” or “after XYZ happens, THEN I will…”

No more.

About 3 years ago, I went through a process of assessing key areas of my life, how I wanted to live and be, and what needed to change. It was one of the most powerful seasons I can remember.

The challenge is that I failed to maintain the process. I put it on autopilot and that does not work.

Today, I will live life on purpose. I will live beyond my challenges and will commit to take back my tomorrow.

This world needs you—it needs me—to show up and provide light, hope, compassion, and love. In all the darkness, it is up to us.

There is no cavalry. No one is coming to “fix” things. It is up to us.

Sorry I took a little break there. I am looking forward to seeing the incredible things you are going to accomplish.

Making the Turn

Making the turn…Physically, Mentally, Spiritually, Professionally, Personally.

It has been a few days since I last shared about my journey of facing cancer and even entertaining the thoughts that something may be wrong for the rest of my life.

I was fortunate.

I have friends that, sadly, I have watched battle round after round after round of illness, and they did so with grace and honor. I hope I never have to face that path, but if I do, I pray I do so in the same way.

Tomorrow I go with hopes of hearing “All Clear.”

And as my body is healing, I am rounding a significant corner.

Physically, I am healing from the technological miracle that is DaVinci. I am also seeing signs that internally; I am whole as well. Praise God for both.

Mentally, I am working through the post-shock of accepting the fact that I (WAS) sick. I thought I had invincibility in the bag.

Spiritually, I am reclining into the peace that passes all understanding. I am thankful that my walk was such that my first inclination was to offer praise and thanks for a journey yet to be experienced. I know God has a reason for me to be where I am today.

Professionally, I have a far more narrow and focused view about who I am, what I am very good at, and how that expertise can be best used as I get back to a normal workload. There is an additional layer of experience today as I throw out my shingle and open up for new business.

But personally, I have to say I am curious. I am glancing around everywhere looking for hints about the why and what of it all. I am truly overcome with joy knowing that this is not a life-threatening place. Susie and I have a long future together that we have really just begun to experience.

We want life and life to the fullest!

So, my encouragement for you is this:

Whatever you are fretting about…

Whatever setback you are experiencing…

Whomever you are at odds with…

Whatever fear or scarcity you are wrestling with…

Set it aside and do not give in to the wasted energy of worry, frustration, or anger. Fear has never solved anything.

The way to rise above your challenges is to literally live beyond them.

I could have curled up in the corner and worried my way to the next strain of cancer. And I may face another type another day.

Instead, I choose to Live Beyond.

I think we should explore this concept some.

Kb

PS – For those of you who have been wondering, I am feeling really good. I am healing up well, and so far, everything is functioning exactly as we have hoped. Praise God!

The “Less Inspiring” Part of the Journey

Since I posted about this health journey at all, it would be irresponsible of me not to include the parts that are far less inspiring. So here goes—I think there is a lot here too btw.

The past few nights have been pretty hard. Dealing with the discomfort of a body healing, way more retaining fluid than I thought possible, and new senses in feelings in ways that make me ask, “Is this the new normal or just the healing normal?”

“Is this what I am going to feel like from now on?”

That question is a dangerous one and a disingenuous one.

What I am not-so-secretively asking is, “am I in control, and will I ever get back to where I do what I want, how I want and feel the way I want?”

OR “Will I always feel…. sick?”

I began sharing with you that this journey was not about me. It is about what is in this journey for me to learn, to share, to re-invest in someone else in the future.

I began offering praise for the process, the road, and yes even for the discovery.

But how does that all shake out when exhausted, sleepless, and worried if I am going to have to live with this (like this) for the rest of my life?

Honestly? Exactly like normal daily life. (Probably just more dramatic.)

It is super easy to have my usual pity party and say, “SEE!? I could have done this except for that!” or, “If THAT THING had not happened, then I would be here or I would be there!”

That is a lie, straight out of the pit, and it smells like smoke.

It would be quite easy for me to wear the “blessed” card if everything was going the way I wanted it to.

On a higher level of insight and evaluation, it is.

Just over five days ago to the hour, I rolled into the recovery room of a significant post-cancer procedure and have been flying past successful checkpoint after checkpoint.

But there I sat last night, in the middle of the night, not quite able to get nuzzled down into that comfy pre-issue mindless comfort that made me feel like I was in control.

I was no more in control then than I used to be.

The secret is…I am far more aware of my place in this universe than I was before. And therein lies the gold.

Is everything wonderful and I should I be sitting over here praising God and basking the glory of healing? Probably. But I sure do not feel like it right at this moment.

And the answer right at this moment is to respond with thankfulness, gratefulness, gratitude, and even when you may not “feel” like it, praise Him anyway.

The Lord God of Heaven is Righteous to Heal. Righteous to Save, and Worthy of everything and so much more than I can speak.

Do I feel godly in this moment, not on your life?

But I am probably closer to Him in this vulnerability than on any best “normal” day.

Whatever you are going through, no matter if you are a person of faith or not, give thanks. Find a moment of promise.

Be grateful.

Love others.

Give yourself some slack.

I am healing…and for that, I am most thankful.

-KB

Transactional vs Relational

Going from a year of almost no human interaction outside my house to a year fraught with trips to the doctor and their medical teams has been eye-opening.

On the surface, it’s the habits of people on display, but at a deeper level, it is a microcosm of who we are as people, as companies, and as brands. Take a look for a second:

Nursing staff – I fully expected all the nursing teams to be transactional. I would expect in their business, you almost have to be. For proficiency and also protecting your sanity in case something goes wrong.

Most were, but a couple of memorable ones were not.

My surgeon on the other hand is incredibly relational. Not transactional at all. During our very first telecall, his first question tells it all.

“Tell me about your goals in all this,” he began.

Most would think my only concern is to come out cancer-free. He gets that this procedure had many other things to consider, and my goals would determine his approach.

Interesting is that this realization is true across all swaths of our lives. Our work, our faith communities, even our friendships can be transactional vs relational.

Those who are “transactional” often do so out of a place of keeping things tidy, compartmentalized, and non-emotional. It isn’t personal.

Or is it?

I’m 100% relational. I think life, work, spirit, health, and purpose are completely relational—or at least it should be. I know for some, being transactional is a means of protection having been hurt in the past.

I get it. Wow, do I get that? But at what price?

After my bankruptcy and divorce several years ago, I spent years locked down in transactional life. That was a mistake. What a waste.

I choose life, love, risks, and the rush of being connected w people important to me.

Family, friends, clients, co-workers, co-worshipers. The journey is made better WITH you.

I choose abundance, passion, hope, and possibility and cast aside scarcity, fear, defensiveness, and the like.

I may get hurt along the way, but the richness will be mine at every level.

Which are you? What do you choose?